Not good or bad

This week has been an ok week. Besides having a crap ANC all week, her other counts look good. We had our last IT on Tuesday and another round of vincristine. Pretty much life is kind of back to normal. If that's what you want to call it. We made one trip out this week to Fry's and I definitely was one of "those" moms wiping every part of the cart down with a wipe and giving Bella another wipe to carry around in the cart. Not to mention she is wearing a mask. I pretty much make her wear one at all times if we are out of the house regardless of whether or not she is neutropenic. I wonder sometimes what people think seeing her in the mask. I mean she has all her hair still and she doesn't really look sick. So if I had to guess, I think they are probably thinking she is contagious and we dont want to spread HER germs! When in reality we don't want any type of anything getting near her.

Wearing her new headband!

 Today before clinic she told me she wanted to go back to dance and continued telling me up until we saw the doctor. Not sure if she thought maybe that would get her out of this visit?  Maybe one day soon I can re-enroll her. All I want for her is to be a normal kid and live a normal life. Someday soon, I hope we all do. She hates the finger pokes and tells me she would rather have her port 'done' as she puts it. Counts again were all good, except for her ANC, so there goes our fun filled weekend of swimming. Since her ANC is only 150 we haven't cleared for next weeks chemo. She must be above 750 and have at least 75k platelets. Her platelets today were 236k, so we are good to go there! Back again on Tuesday to see if she clears. I really don't want to delay chemo anymore! I need to know if she is in remission. The wait is literally killing me. I'm tempted to ask what it would take to get another sample now.

Spinning Gabbi around in her stroller at clinic!

 All she wants to be is a regular kid. Every time we drive by sunsplash (which is every time we go to the clinic) she says "ooh Mommy look! Let's go play!" or if we see a commercial on tv about Chuck-E- Cheese she always says how she wants to play! I feel so bad. Now that I am on leave from work and have the time (ok I really don't have the time) she cant do any of these things. If anyone has any good inside play ideas, feel free to pass em along. We have done our blow up bouncer, glow in the dark shaving cream paint, not to mention hours on end of tv, coloring and play-doh!

Bath Time!

 On an extremely sad note, I read a blog tonight about a little boy Ronan (http://rockstarronan.com) who passed away last year from his fight with cancer. He inspired the new song "Ronan" by Taylor Swift. All proceeds of this song go to find a cure and is just another way for you to help. It is an extremely emotional song but so beautiful! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvN7BOAQn9I)
 Also, in case anyone missed it, there is an online scentsy party that goes on until next Saturday, where 15% of proceeds go to Bella. If anyone is interested in picking up some deliciously delicious smells, you can do so by also giving to a good cause. (http://jweinland.scentsy.us)

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:18